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有关女人的经典幽默句子

时间:2015年08月21日 来源:个人整理 作者:寻开心 浏览:

1 如果一个女人想要一件钻石头饰,她会解释那样会省下一顶帽子钱。

If a woman wanted a diamond tiara, she would explain that it was to save the expense of a bonnet.

创新句子:妻子对丈夫说:我就要这个钻戒算了,我想给你省一副手套钱。

2 我只知道一个女人不想要金子——她拿走了钻石。

I never knew but one woman who would not take gold --- and she took diamonds.

创新句子:我不喜欢钱,喜欢钻石。

朋友请客,让你点菜,你说:来份龙虾,我想给你省盘儿醋溜白菜的钱。

打车时这样劝自己:打车还能省下坐公共汽车的钱。

3 如果你是个女人,你就会知道女人一辈子最困难的五年是从29岁到30岁。

If you were a woman you’d know that the most difficult five years in a woman’s life are from twenty-nine to thirty.

注:女人调侃自己怕老:女人一辈子最困难的五年是从29岁到30岁。

4 女人只能保守一个秘密——她的年龄。

A woman can keep one secret --- the secret of her age.

创新句子:我不愿意告诉你我已经30了。

5 只要女人看起来能比她女儿还年轻10岁,她就非常满意了。

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

创新句子:谁希望比自己的女儿还年轻10岁?

6 不允许杀死伤害过你的女人,但什么也禁止不了你去想她每一分钟都在变老。

You are not permitted to kill a woman who has injured you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.

创新句子:我允许你想我一天天变老。

7 “我想知道他是不是知道如何把女人锯成两半,”Larry(人名)沉思着说,“我的意思是,这样你就可以只要有功能,但不讲话的那一半了。”

“I wonder if he knows how to saw a woman in half,” said Larry thoughtfully. “I mean, so that you can get the half that functions but doesn’t talk.”

注:丈夫嫌女人唠叨,女人回答:要不你找个魔术师把我锯成两半,你只要会做饭但不说话的那一半。

8 “你曾经在办公室工作过,是不是,Jill(人名)?”一次一个女权主义者热切地问我,“男人骚扰过你吗?”

“骚扰过,”我回答,“但还远远不够。”

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